Etiquette
The Japanese people are forgiving towards their foreign guests. However, there are a few essentials to abide by and other manners that will be quietly appreciated by your hosts. Some manners may seem a bit oppressive when read here but in practice are much less onerous. If in doubt ask your Walk Japan tour leader.
Manners in an Inn or Home
Taking off shoes and wearing slippers
Never enter a Japanese-style inn or home with your shoes on. Within the entrance there is usually a step up into the building proper. Slippers, which are to wear inside, lined up awaiting use are another common indicator that you are at the appropriate place to remove your shoes. Ideally, you should slip out of your shoes, stepping straight up into the interior and not walk around in stockinged or bare feet in the entrance area, i.e. where shoes are left.
Slippers, tatami mats and lavatories
Tatami straw mats are nearly always used in Japanese-style rooms. The mats are multi-purpose and used for sitting, dining and sleeping on. They are also easily damaged so only walk on them in stockinged or bare feet. Slip off your slippers at the entrance to the room, before stepping on the tatami, and leave them there.
Slippers are also stepped out of when entering a lavatory. Inside are always placed another pair of slippers, usually brightly coloured, for exclusive use within. Always remember to leave them in the toilet area after use and not walk around the building in them. This is a faux pas that creates great laughter and will cause your hostess to quickly scurry off with the offending articles. This slipper shuffle does not apply to public toilets, where your shoes remain on.
Respected areas in a traditional room
Do not sit on tables or in the tokonoma, an alcove used for displaying a scroll with a seasonal theme, flowers, and a ceramic objet d’art. Invariably, rooms will have chairs within.
Arranging the futon
Japanese inns come in two styles: ryokan and minshuku. The difference can sometimes be difficult to fathom except when it comes to futon bedding. In a ryokan your futon will be laid out for you, whereas in a minshuku you lay out your own.
Orientate the futon such that your head is pointing in any direction except north. Only the deceased are laid out at funerals with their head to the north.
The bedding is laid out with one or two heavier shiki-buton thin mattresses laid first, sometimes with a light, foam layer below these. A cotton sheet covers the shiki-buton over which is the final kake-buton duvet/comforter layer. When cold, a blanket will also be provided.
Wearing a yukata
Yukata, which are unisex cotton kimono-like garments, are provided at inns. These are worn in the accommodation, including to the baths and the dining room. They are also used for sleeping in. Depending on the accommodation, you may wander around outside in yukata often clattering around on geta wooden clogs provided by your host if you wish.
It is essential to wrap the yukata with its left folded over the right. The opposite way, with right over left, is reserved for the deceased. The obi sash may be tied as you wish around your waist with the knot usually hanging off your right hip.
Bathing Decorum
The Japanese way of bathing, whether in onsen hot springs or regular baths, is a ritual with particular rules to follow and a description follows below. However, hotels are the exception. Whether Japanese or western-style, in hotel rooms with en suite facilities bathing is in the same manner as you are used to in your own home.
Entering a Japanese bath
The entrance to communal baths are usually doors or a noren curtain marked with the character “ゆ”, which means hot water. Usually, the noren is either coloured pink or red for women, and blue or purple for men. Increasingly, signage includes wording in English indicating the female and male baths.
Depending on the accommodation, you may need to take towels that are provided in your room to the baths. Frequently, there are two towels, a larger one for drying after the bath and a smaller one that can be taken into the bathing area to use as a flannel. Also take along a yukata with obi to change into after bathing.
Undress in the changing area, leaving your clothing in the receptacle, usually a basket or locker. Clothing will be fine left in a basket but please make sure that any valuables are left in lockers, found in the changing area, or in the safe, which you will find in your room.
Bathing
The Japanese way of bathing is always to soak in the baths and not wash in them. Before entering a bathtub use the adjacent faucet/shower unit to wash. Make sure to completely rinse off any soap, shampoo and conditioner suds. Avoid spraying your neighbours with water when using the shower.
In smaller establishments, the bath is shared in turn by everyone so do not empty it after you have bathed. Also, return the wood or plastic cover, if there is one, over the top of the bath. The Japanese like bathing in fairly hot water 38 to 45C, (100 to 113F). If you find the water too hot you may add some cold water, but not so much that it becomes tepid. Others following in the bathing queue will not appreciate it.
In larger establishments there will not be a top cover and usually no opportunity to alter the water temperature.
Take your small towel with you into the bathing area to use as a flannel and also to rub off the excess moisture on your body before re-entering the changing area after soaking. Make sure any soap is washed out of the towel. Also, do not dip it into the bath water. Instead, place it somewhere outside of the bath or folded on your head while soaking.
Long hair should be tied up so that it does not fall into the bath water. Disposable shower caps are often available in the changing area.
Baths are for a relaxed soak and not for swimming or other playful activity.
Avoid much eating or drinking alcohol before bathing, and take care when rising up out of the bath. First-timers may feel faint if they sit in the bath too long and/or rise out of the water too quickly. If feeling unwell, first, sit on the edge of the bath and allow your body a few minutes to adjust. Whether having felt faint or not, make sure to drink plenty of water after bathing. Water vending machines are usually found in and around the changing area.
Either leave your wet towels in the provided laundry basket or take them back to your room, where there will usually be a towel rack. Be sure not to leave damp towels on tatami mats. The towels can be used again for an early morning wake up soak.
Tattoos and communal bathing
As a general rule, visitors with tattoos are not allowed into communal baths because of the artworks’ association with organised crime. However, in recent years the growing number of foreign visitors has seen some establishments relax their policies. Before entering the bath just let your host or hostess know you have a tattoo and frequently they will come up with a solution that keeps everyone happy. For example, other Japanese guests tend to bathe earlier and you may be asked to go that little bit later, or a private bathing area, which may be at an additional charge, will be made available for your use.
Dining and Drinking Manners
Chopstick do’s and don’ts
Do not stick your chopsticks vertically into a bowl of rice and leave them there. Do not pass food between chopsticks, instead pass food onto a plate. These are both taboo because they are associated with funerals.
Do not play with, point with, or spear your food with chopsticks. You may, though, very occasionally see Japanese surreptitiously spear a particularly slippery morsel.
Leaving excess food
Make an effort not to leave food, especially rice. You can usually control the amount of rice you receive and can always have more. If you have ever grown rice the Japanese way, which is time-consuming and laborious, you will appreciate why they tend not to leave even one grain.
Never pour soy sauce over rice. Japanese rice is considered good tasting - and it usually is - although other foods may be added atop the rice for flavour combinations, it should never be adulterated with soy sauce, an act considered an affront by most Japanese.
When eating sushi or sashimi a separate small dish is provided for soy sauce. Pour in only as much as you will use. You can always add more to your dish should you run out.
Refilling a companion's glass
When sharing a meal, or just drinking, make an effort to fill or refill the glasses of your companions. They will return the compliment. If you have an empty glass and nobody has noticed, serve someone else. Japanese companions will respond in kind. You may be thought a bit of a lush if you pour your own alcoholic drink. If you do not want a refill leave your glass full.
The Japanese often like to start a meal with a toast and, just beforehand, you will be plied with a drink, which is usually alcoholic. Even if you do not drink, accept it and at the toast make a gesture of drinking it. A clear refusal of anything, especially at a time of enjoyment, is a bit jarring to Japanese sensibilities. However, going through the motions is perfectly acceptable. In recent years, oolong tea or a similar non-alcoholic beverage is increasingly offered as an alternative.
Manners before and after eating
It is polite to say Itadakimasu (a humble-honorific meaning 'to receive' ) once before eating or drinking, and Gochiso sama deshita, meaning ('That was a feast'), to your host or the restaurant’s staff after finishing your meal.
Hand towels
Upon sitting for a meal, the host or waiting staff will offer you an oshibori, a small towel that may be warm or cool depending on the season. These are used to wipe your hands before eating. They are typically not for wiping one’s face although some male Japanese will do this.
Travel etiquette
Walking and eating in Japan
Japanese tend not to eat while walking along or standing around on the street. However, it is acceptable to drink while standing aside vending machines, which are ubiquitous in Japan. Eating and drinking on local trains is also frowned upon, but not long distance express trains such as the Shinkansen bullet train.
Manners on the train
When riding on trains and buses turn your mobile/cell phone to silent mode and do not use it for conversation. Text messaging, though, is not considered a problem and you will see many Japanese furiously tapping away.
Rubbish disposal
Rubbish bins are hard to come by even in large cities, let alone in small villages and on hiking trails. As such, be prepared to carry any rubbish to your accommodation. Cans and bottles can be disposed of in receptacles found aside almost all drink vending machines.
Photography
Refrain from taking pictures of others without their consent, especially the guardians of children.
Tipping
Tipping is not required nor expected.
Taxi travel
When hailing a taxi, do not open or close the taxi door by yourself as it is controlled by the driver. This can be very useful if your hands are full with, for example, hiking gear or shopping.
Umbrella covers and stands
Umbrella stands are often found outside shops and restaurants. Use these on rainy days before entering. Some establishments provide plastic covers for umbrellas. Slip this over the wet article and walk in with it in hand.
Pointing
If you need to indicate a person, object or direction, wave your fingers with the palm face up in the general direction. Especially never point your finger, feet, or chopsticks at people. If you would like to indicate yourself, the customary way to do this is to point at one’s nose.
Blowing your nose
Refrain from blowing your nose in front of other people and only use paper tissues for the purpose. If you cannot help having a blow or need to sneeze, turn your back on your Japanese counterpart. When face to face a dainty dab is not considered rude.
Exchanging business cards
If you are given a business or name card accept it with both hands. First look at it before carefully putting it away. If you are sitting at a table, place the card on the table in front of you. Do not fold it, play with it, or write on it especially in front of the giver. At an appropriate moment, either at the end of the meeting or after a reasonable period of time has elapsed, put it away into your card holder.
Formal seating arrangements
If you are visiting someone, especially for business, do not sit down of your own accord. Allow your Japanese host to indicate the seat for you to use. This would, in normal circumstances, be considered the best in the room.
Souvenirs
When visiting a Japanese family take a small gift. A food item, such as a box of biscuits or sweets, cakes or seasonal fruit, is ideal.
